XVI Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association Symposium
17 - 21 August 1999, London

Reflections on "Transsexualism and Sex Reassignment" 1969 -1999

Patterns of Thinking and Communication of Families where an Adolescent Shows Atypical Gender Identity Organization

Wren, Bernadette Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Gender Identity Development Unit, Portman Clinic, London, UK

Families make their own unique adjustment to having a gender dysphoric young person. Parents are often criticized by professionals and others for their too ready compliance, or, alternatively, for their too hasty and dismissive rejection. Facing each other with often divergent views of what constitutes the young person'’ reality, a major task for the young person and parents is to tolerate the other having thoughts and feelings that may be in powerful conflict with their own.

Some families seem to develop along pathways which either lead to problems multiplying around the gender identity issue or, alternatively, allow the child and family to avoid further major problems and follow a less troubled developmental route.

In a clinical service, we need to understand more about the complexity of parents’ ways of responding to their child’s cross-gender identity and how these ways of responding affect the child’s further development, both in gender and other areas.

In this paper, using findings from a current research project, I ask whether parents can be experienced as accepting and validating of the child’s position while retaining their entitlement to challenge and explore that position. I ask whether young people can feel supported by parents who have major misgivings about their wish to sex-reassignment. I also look at the different ways young people feel most helped by parents and how parents try to help themselves come to terms with the situation.

I describe findings which suggest the kind of communication which may promote active problem-solving autonomy, mutual understanding and hope.