XVII Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association Symposium
31 October - 4 November 2001, Galveston, Texas, U.S.A.

Infants and Children with Gender-Dysphoric Behaviour in a Familiar System

SCHIJF, ELS The Netherlands
Co-author: Petra Klene (The Netherlands)

Before a doctor or child specialist gets to see it, parents are well aware that already at three or five years of age their son or daughter has been behaving consistently otherwise than would be expected of the child. Generally speaking, boys behave quite girlishly, while girls act rather boyishly, with a corresponding choice of toys and manner of play. This always leads to great insecurity for the parents. How do you talk about atypical child behaviour when you just don’t have the words to do so, as language often falls short in this respect? It takes a lot of effort to talk about it in your daily life – there is no other child in the neighbourhood behaving so unusually, while apart from that being so sweet. First of all you deny it yourself – am I seeing this right, or just imagining it? Then there is denial from the GP, the school doctor, or other professional you consult. Leading on from your own child’s such unusual behaviour, the chance of isolation, not only for him/her but equally for the family, is certainly no figment of the imagination. In the self-help group "Humanitas Berdache" parents of gender dysphoric children come together to talk about bringing up these unique children and making them resilient. Their doubts, their experiences with social workers and doctors, their experiences under the strain of a Dutch society, where, despite the space and freedom granted by the educational model, boys are nevertheless raised as boys, and girls as girls. About 70 percent of gender-dysphoric children later turn out to be homosexual, and in the long run just 7 to 10 percent subsequently become eligible for gender reassignment treatment. Once the gender-dysphoria diagnosis is made, it is of great importance for an educational psychologist to monitor the youngsters from a very early age, in order to provide parents with support and advice on upbringing.